Things we cannot say

I initially wanted to blog on something else but changed my mind cos I felt that it was something I should not be saying here. And since it is something I shouldnt be saying here, you shall never know what it is.... muahaha

Instead, I want to discuss on the things we should (or should not) say in public. I have always felt that there are some things that should never leave my mouth and remain in me forever. A secret between me and myself. And there ARE such things as words that are inappropriate for the event.

Although I have an extremely limited vocabulary, I take care in choosing my words so that I will not be misunderstood and I do not offend people unknowingly. But because I take such great care, some might not fully get the message I am sending because I tend to replace crucial words with something more subtle such that my sentence might seem positive although what I am saying might be otherwise. This is not something I like to do.

I hate liars so I hate to lie. But if telling the truth hurts then I need to device a way such that my moral obligation is fulfilled and everyone is happy. And the only way I can think of is....





























...to speak in Greek.

It's over. Im done.

Exams are officially over. I dont know why but I dont really feel that there is a need to celebrate. Maybe it's because I've been through worse "hardship" (A levels) or perhaps the pain was a short one (one week). Or, it might be because everyone is still suffering and there is just no one to celebrate with.

Since this is the first time I did a major exam outside of Singapore, maybe I should just quickly highlight the differences.

Firstly, the exam hall.

You might be surprise to know that it is NOT located on the school grounds. And what might surprise you even more is that the hall is located in an amusement park. (I call it so because you will find the skeleton of what seems to be a ferris wheel there)

The place is called Adelaide Showground and, unsurprisingly, it is used for big events and festivals. It's weird cos it's currently under constuction, so you can hear the drillings of the ground when you're in the hall doing your exams. (Its like a construction site.)

The inside of the hall looks like expo - a very big storage space with poor lightings.


Secondly, the feel.

In short, its weird.

If the whole outlook of the place doesnt give you the sense of informality, the attitude of some students will. Let me tell you what happened during my first paper.

I was about halfway through the bio paper and everyone was concentrating on their work. Then, I started hearing some strange sound. Someone to the left of me started eating from her lunch box! Alright, it felt really weird cos she was eating and doing the exam at the same time. I mean, come on, ITS A FREAKING EXAM! (eat later la!)

This exam felt unnatural, and now that it's over, it almost felt as if it didnt happened. I dont know.

Oh eating in the exam hall is permitted by the way and, if I may add, a very common sight here.

This was once my dream

It has been a long time since the last time I blog and feel obliged to write something. But I hate to write for the sake of writing just like I hate exams and bad weather so I'll write on something I like but might not be of any interest to you. (Nope, I will not be writing on my exams. Not yet at least.)

I have always been very fasinated by the amazing crime-solving ability of detectives. That was why I wanted, and still do, although not as much now, to be a forensic scientist. Its just SO COOL! And then I looked up some stuff on the internet and books and was shocked by the amount of work put in by crime scene investigators. It is not as glamourous as they show on TV.

The amount of physics, chemistry, biology, geology and psychology involved was beyond imagination. Just by looking at the way the blood stained the wall, they can tell at which angle the victim was attacked, which blood vessel was most probably responsible, how much time has lasped since, etc etc. And JUST from the angle of attack, they are able to predict the height of the attacker, the position the victim was in when he was attacked, whether the attack was from the back and hence predict if the victim was acquainted with his attacker. OMG! And most of the time, there will be more than one blood pattern overlapping each other as the victim might be hit multiple times and they must be able to differentiate each patterns and deduce how each pattern indicate whatever I have mentioned above. CAN YOU IMAGINE? And we haven even start to look at the body! If the body tells a different story, then everything has to be rebuild.

Salute to the heroes whose lives are dedicated to tell the story of those who cant speak for themselves anymore. And although it is evident that my job in the future will most probably not be of any relation to any forensic work, the occasional mind-stimulating activity of solving the fictitious crimes on tv is always appreciated by my otherwise deprived, and hence degenerating, brain cells.

Now's the time

We are currently heading towards THE MOST crucial time of the year for students because it's now when they find that they have to cram 6 months worth of school work into their miserably small brains. It's the time we understand more about ourselve so that we can devise the best way to remember our notes. And this is usually the time when more than half of what was taught finally made sense!

Oh and I forgot to mention that is it also during this important stage when some might find that they just cannot understand the text no matter how many times they read. Then they might be suffering from a learning disability which was not previously diagnosed and can visit a doctor, obtain a medical certificate to prove that they are indeed impaired in some sense and a special paper might be granted. (I believe so)

Recurring dreams - what does it mean?

I had a strange dream last night. I dreamt that I chanced upon two young brothers swimming in the canal while I was running on the bridge one evening. It was a happy sight to see them enjoying themselves near the water. Then I saw them. Baby crocodiles. First there were only two young adult ones, about the height of a 5 year-old and very slender so it seemed like the brothers might be able to get away with them.

The eldest of the two brothers was still swimming in the water, unaware of the danger. At the bank, the younger guy spotted the reptiles and called for his brother to hurry. The big brother sped up but still was not quick enough for the swift crocs. One of the crocodiles got hold of his left arm and dragged him deep into the water where he is no longer visible from the surface.

I was stunned. The younger brother tried to run. This was when all of the crocodiles appear from below the waters. Tonnes of them. Some actually walked on two feet, like humans, when they reached the land. It was a nightmare! But the crocodiles did not attacked the boy. They merely passed him in one fast motion, as if they cant see him at all.

In another dream many nights ago, I dreamt that I was looking into the ocean from a tall building and from where I was, I could see a young boy and his mother swimming in the ocean. A killer whale was swimming close by but seemed relatively harmless. The mother thought it was a great chance for her son to see the whale so she brought him closer. The young guy did not like the idea and was struggling to get free from his mother's hold.

When they were finally close enough to touch, the whale attacked! At first he went for the boy but the boy managed to free himself and swam away. The mother was too stunned to move and when she got her senses back, she too tried to swim away but similar to the dream above, the unfortunate happened and the mother was dragged deep into the ocean by the whale.

I was perspiring when I woke from the eerily similar dreams. In both dreams I was just watching. The sense of helplessness overwhelmed me as I watched the terror unfolds. I wanted to call out but was not sure if that will be of any help as everything happened so fast. In both dreams, the younger human of the two was the first to sense the danger. Perhaps they have that gift because they see the world for what it is and not the make-believed ones which many grown-ups tend to build for themselves. In both dreams, there were people beside me. They could have helped! (If they knew how)


.... And there was no blood. In both dreams there wasnt blood. Its strange when you think about it. Not logical. But then again, since when are dreams logical?

Must we compromise one for another?

With exams looming dangerously near, everyone is going into, what I would term, the stress-mode having the disturb-me-at-your-own-risk look on their faces. Indeed, exams do bring out the worst in some people as this is when the selfishness of the character truely shows. Although its sad to say that, we still move on with our lives, ignoring the degredation of morals and character of the society which is, itself more deserving our regret. Do we have to give up on our morals in order to progress?

Saying that, I do not mean to imply that we should board the next plane to disaster-prone countries to help in relief work or only allow the use of natural gas to power our cars so as to reduce the production of green house gases. These are too extreme. But we can help by donating to the funds which will be used to rebuild the lives of those affected by the disaster and do our bit in recycling what we can everyday.

Ultimately, we MIGHT be able to strike a balance between our moral obligation and economic progession. But before that happens, ignore me while I lament on the sorry state we're currently in.